Eastercon. Fun, then it wasn't.

Always had a certain level of mixed feelings about Eastercon. On one hand there are lots of interesting talks and a fair number of friends attend. I like real ale and that's usually available. On the other hand, I don't fit in as well as I might. The cons are very lit-heavy. Not a lot of media fans. And they're a bit old. I tend to be one of the younger attendees.

It all started off reasonably well. Pub quiz on Thursday. Except they did it in the restaurant area, where the acoustics were terrible. Also I was very annoyed that I couldn't remember where the Starship Streaker was from despite my username here coming from the name of the pilot! Anyway, we won, mainly out of endurance.

Had drinks of victory. Went back to hotel room and apparently told flickums  that I'd been drinking with Neil and Eeyore. Not sure what eeyore was doing there and I might have been too drunk to pass the mirror test

Friday - went to various panels and talks and I was generally having a good time. Saturday was the same.

Then my brain rebelled.

I just seemed to have a sudden overdose of shyness and imposter syndrome. I found myself unable to converse. Usually I can manage to find something to say. Make a friend or two.

Someone mentioned that tech needed tech people to deal with sound. I'm a techy person. I like playing with gadgets. I'm actually quite good at it. And I know what a mixer does (although I am constantly reminded at work I am not an audio engineer). I should have volunteered. But something in my head said "No. You don't want to do that". And that was just my brain being stupid. They wanted me to do it. I'd have enjoyed it.

I just ended up feeling a bit lonely. Which meant I ended the weekend feeling a little dejected. Wishing I'd done things that I hadn't done. and getting really upset about fairly minor things, like my forgetting to bring a book to get signed.

Maybe I'm just out of practice. Maybe I need to do more cons. Or find cons that are more me. They're pricey though.