(no subject)

[luckykaa]

So, having grumbled, I feel a little more levity is in order.

This weekend, I saw two films. Constantine, and Sahara. Here's what I learned from Sahara.

Everything is bullet proof against ordinary bullets, with the exception of glass.
Armour piercing rounds are the excetpion to this rule, and will easily pierce 5 inch thick armour.
Bad guys can't shoot straight.
All African states are ruled by an evil warlord who has no compassion at all.
Two American soldiers can defeat a complete army of any other nation
Women can be incapacitated by holding onto their upper arm.
A 100 year old cannon will work perfectly.
Removing a dictator from power will immediately reverse any environmental problem caused by that dictator.
A plane can be convertyed to a land yacht in a mater of minutes.

I'm sure there are many more.

Doctor Who was fun, but those roads don't look at all right. They were way too flat. Didn't victorian roads have a camber?

All these webcomics I'm reading make me want to create one. All I need is a funny idea, some jokes and the ability to draw. And the time and patience needed to get them right. Physfighter really needs a sequel. I need more snaps of people being silly for that though. Can I pinch anyone's photos?

Comments

[invisigoth51.livejournal.com]

feel free to roam my photogallery - should be plenty of people you know in there.

[juanitadark.livejournal.com]

Dear lord, I'm surprised you didn't walk out during Constantine, like a friend of mine.

But yeah, movie science, particularly action movie science, is a law unto itself.

[luckykaa.livejournal.com]

Nah. It wasn't that bad. Didn;t think it was a particularly good movie, but it was reasoanble.

Would have preffered a grim dark moody film noir look, based around a grouchy northerner, but this is Hollywood. For some reason they think that people are okay with magicians trapping demons in mirrors in modern LA, but would have a problem with a liverpudlian lead character.

[juanitadark.livejournal.com]

I didn't mind the Hollywood interpretation, I've come to expect it, and LA is the American noir capital. However, several scenes in that film just screamed 'cut!'.

I think it needed a tighter script, some scenes edited out and some new ones thrown in. Also, no offence to the director - the first scene/exorcism was done very well - but I think a more capable director with a sharper eye or maybe more feature experience would have made more out of what they had.

Levity, good

[catinsea.livejournal.com]

Have not seen either film but,

Love your insights. Very funny.
"Women can be incapacitated by holding onto their upper arm"
Priceless.

"Bad guys can't shoot straight" Yup. Either there's a literal rain strom of bullets a-flying but nobody gets wounded or there's that other way--every shot is accurate, right thru the heart each time, as though people can't run, move or squirm.

Re: Levity, good

[luckykaa.livejournal.com]

With the bullets thing - my favourite was always Face Off. There's enough metal flying through the air to put a battleship to shame, loads of people seem to get shot, but the only people who could possibly hit either Nick Cage or John Travolta were John Travolta or Nick Cage.

Re: Levity, good

[catinsea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about--I remember that in Face Off, how over the top.

How about Gross Point Blank??????

Clobber people over the head with a television when you run out of amo.
PS I friend you even b4 I read this--the train announcements teetered me over the edge.

Re: Levity, good

[luckykaa.livejournal.com]

Why thankyou. Allow me to return the favour.

Maybe I'll even find out who you are one of these days;_

Re: Levity, good

[catinsea.livejournal.com]

We have Amadou, Dylan and the Smut Fairy
in common.
Good start.
And you're funny--a must have to me.